What would you do if your teen came home and told you that they were going to have a baby? We all have a vision of what we want our children to accomplish, and teen pregnancy can be very disappointing for some parents. You may feel like you have failed somewhere and that your child will now not have the life that you wished for them.
Understanding Teen Brain Development
Although news of this sort can seem catastrophic, it doesn’t have to be such a negative experience. There are decisions that we make in life that we can’t take back; but how we address them is the actual determinant of the outcome. Sometimes, we may not understand the choices that our teens make. It is important to understand that the prefrontal cortex, the decision-making portion of the brain is not fully developed until around the age of 25. “The prefrontal cortex is…responsible for your child’s ability to plan and think about the consequences of actions, solve problems and control impulses” (raisingchildren.net.au, para 5). Therefore, teens are more likely to make decisions without fully realizing all the possible outcomes.
Support System
When teen parents do not have a support system it can negatively affect both the teen and the child. Where they live, food insecurity, and stress in the household, all have a great deal of influence on the outcome of children born to teen parents. “Young parents and their children may be at risk for negative health outcomes, not directly as a consequence of maternal age but because of poverty and other inequities in the social determinants of health” (Canadian pediatric society, para 1). Just like every other hard time and struggle in life, it is the support that we receive that helps to determine our outcomes.
Supportive Approach
By taking a supportive approach to assisting teen parents and their children, we can help them to be successful. “It must be emphasized that many adolescents excel as parents, and that some choose to parent at a young age for personal, cultural or familial reasons. Successful parenting is particularly evident in circumstances that include supportive social networks, a positive parenting environment and limited adversity” (Canadian pediatric society, para 3).
My Story
I was a teen mom. I gave birth to my first son 2 weeks before my 18th birthday. I was so lucky and grateful to have found a job at a good, well-paying company and to have a grandmother who agreed to take care of my son while I worked nights. I was not able to go to college then but did achieve a diploma later in life. I am so blessed to be his mom and am so proud of who he has become! Did we struggle? Absolutely! Did we have to struggle as much as we did? No. It is always best to wait to have children until you’re older and established in life. This sets up you and your children for the best success; but, if by chance your teen comes and tells you they are having a baby, they need your love and support. When teen parents have a support system, they can be successful.
References
Meeting the needs of adolescent parents and their children. (2022, June 1). Canadian Pediatric Society. Retrieved from: https://cps.ca/en/documents/position/adolescent-parents
Brain development in pre-teens and teenagers. (2021, April 23). Raisingchildren.net.au. Retrieved from: https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/development/understanding-your-pre-teen/brain-development-teens