Creating loving relationships and developing a circle of support with people we can depend on in tough times is important for all individuals. Infants are born relying on others to care for them, lack of care and secure relationships often cause failure to thrive. Therefore it is vital to create secure bonds between infants and caregivers that are based on trust. A secure attachment relationship is very important in early childhood. MLHU states, “Attachment is the emotional connection and relationship between you and your child” (March 2022, paragraph 1). This trust formed in the beginning creates a secure attachment since the child will know that their needs will be met by the caregiver.
Responding to your child
A child needs a caregiver who is warm, loving, and consistent in attending to the needs of their child. Responding to your child’s crying is not “spoiling” them, it is showing them that they can count on you. Crying is your child’s way of communicating with you. It is so important that caregivers learn their children’s cues, respond to them quickly and in a positive way. MLHU states, “Your child needs you close by to feel loved and safe as they explore their environment and as they grow and develop” (MLHU, March 2022, paragraph 3). It is never too early to start building this bond because “Attachment with your baby starts before your baby is even born and helps to improve both your relationship with your baby and your baby’s mental and emotional well-being” (MLHU, March 2022, paragraph 4).
Creating secure bonds
Creating a secure bond will promote heathy child development and support your infant’s growth. Secure attachment relationships support healthy children from infancy to adulthood. Creating a healthy secure bond in early childhood often combats adverse childhood experiences and can support emotional and mental health development in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Tips to build attachment
According to the Middlesex London Health Unit (March 2022, paragraph 5), follow these tips to build attachment with your child:
Ten Tips Towards Secure Parent-Child Attachment:
- Hold your newborn baby skin-to-skin.
- Breastfeed your baby on demand.
- Always respond to your baby’s needs and cues for attention, comfort, support or security. When you respond to your baby’s cues, for example if they reach out for you with their arms, this gives your baby the confidence to explore their environment which helps them to learn. When they learn that you love them and comfort them, they feel secure and grow up to be secure adults.
- Stay calm in your baby’s presence. For example, when your baby is upset and difficult to comfort your baby needs you to stay calm. If you are unable to stay calm, then baby will become calm. If you need a break, have a family member or friend help so you can step away and calm down.
- Take time each day to look into your baby’s eyes.
- Consistently respond to your baby’s cries even if they keep crying. The important thing is that you try to comfort them so that they learn to depend on you. This will help them to trust. Remember, you can’t spoil a baby. Responding to their cries is what helps them feel loved and safe.
- Respond to your child when they seek your attention. Show interest in your child’s activities and spend one-on-one time doing these activities together. Make time to talk and listen to your child about their day and about their feelings. Sometimes they are sad or scared or lonely and need comfort and attention.
- Accept and get to know your child’s individual personality. Each individual child responds differently to situations. Sometimes children are more sensitive or behave differently because of their mood. Talk about their emotions or mood and help them sort them out. Emotions affect behaviour.
- Reassure your child that you will return. It is normal for your preschooler to fear losing you. This is called separation anxiety. Create a goodbye routine and leave with confidence.
Reference:
Middlesex London Health Unit. (March 2022). Early Childhood Development – Attachment.
Retrieved from: https://www.healthunit.com/early-child-development-attachment#why